Two ways to find new customers online: send messages to strangers, or share content that makes the right people come to you. Here’s what each one looks like in practice — and why one builds a business while the other burns bridges.
The cold message
Most of us have received something like this:
“Hi! 😊 Loved your profile! Are you open to hearing about an exciting opportunity to earn from home?”
An illustrative example of a typical cold message.
It almost never works, for four reasons:
- It comes from a stranger. There’s no trust yet, so the reader’s first thought is “What does this person want from me?”
- It’s about the sender. It offers nothing useful; it only asks.
- It creates pressure. Even a polite “no” feels awkward, so most people simply block.
- It risks your account. Platforms limit accounts that send lots of unsolicited messages, and people can report you as spam.
The attraction approach
Now picture a short post instead:
“Three free tools I use to add captions to my videos in under five minutes — and the one setting most beginners miss.”
An illustrative example of a helpful post.
The people who find this useful save it, comment or follow. Some ask a question. When they reply to a comment or send a message, they started the conversation — so it feels welcome, not intrusive. At the end, a single line points them to a free guide on your website.
Side by side
| Cold messaging | Attraction marketing | |
|---|---|---|
| Who starts the conversation | You | They do |
| How it feels to the reader | Intrusive | Helpful |
| What it builds | Suspicion | Trust and familiarity |
| Effort over time | Same effort every day, forever | Content keeps working after you publish |
| Risk to your reputation | High | Low |
| Speed | Feels faster, rarely works | Slower to start, compounds over time |
When direct messages are fine
Messaging isn’t the problem — uninvited messaging is. Messages are perfectly appropriate when:
- someone has asked you a question or asked for more information;
- you’re replying to a comment they left on your post;
- you’re following up on a conversation they started, once and politely.
From my experience
Describe a cold message you received or (honestly) once sent, how it felt, and what you do differently now. 80–150 words.
Try this today (15 minutes)
Take one “salesy” post you’ve written — or one you’ve seen — and rewrite it with this three-part template:
- The problem: one sentence your audience would nod along to.
- One quick tip: something they can do today, for free.
- A gentle invitation: “If you’d like the full checklist, it’s on my website.”
Common beginner mistake
Being helpful in public, then switching to a hard sell the moment someone sends a message. Keep the same tone in private: answer their question first, and only mention what you offer if it genuinely fits.
Frequently asked questions
Isn’t cold messaging quicker?
It can feel quicker because you’re busy, but busy isn’t the same as effective. Most cold messages are ignored, and each one can cost you goodwill.
What if nobody comments on my posts yet?
That’s normal at the start. Keep answering real questions consistently, and engage in other people’s posts and groups by being helpful there too.
Next, read attraction marketing explained for the full picture, or see a simple 4-step funnel for what happens after someone shows interest.